The humming fluorescent light radiated off of the shiny health magazines, adding to their artificial glow, as I ever so patiently waited in line. Now, this wasn’t the first time I had seen these same exact photoshopped, glossy covers. I saw the same phrases, same messages, and the same promises as last month, and the month before that, and the month before the month before, and so on and so forth.
In the midst of this headline onslaught one theme stood out in particular (good job, graphic designers), the promise that within the ad-laden pages was the secret to the highly coveted flat stomach. I found this tragically ironic considering these magazines were directly besides a heaping mountain of rectangular corn syrup.
Social commentary aside (I’ll save that for another post, since this is already on the verge of becoming a rant), these 6 pack promises are a load of BS, a million times taller than the aforementioned Machupichu of starburst. I ab-solutely ab-hor this kind of nonsense (eh? eh? see what i did there? Yeah? ok… nevermind).
I’ve never been a fan of counter intelligence.
You’re doing it all wrong:
Ab training will not get you abs. There, I said it.
Don’t get me wrong, core training is important, in fact, my clients probably would be happy if I shut my face about it for once. However, core training is important for safety and performance, not because it’ll make you look like the cast of 300.
These magazines are misleading their audience who diligently follows the instructions, only to fail, leaving them confused, frustrated, and disillusioned.
This is a problem.
Doing that to people ain’t cool in my book.
How to ACTUALLY get abs:
Eat better. Plain and Simple. Not easy, just simple. Everyone has a “6 pack;” that’s just what the abdominals look like. Check out a muscle anatomy chart and you’ll see what I mean.
Getting your abdominals to show all comes down to having a low body fat percentage. Best way to get to get a good muscle to fat ratio? Eat well (not less), and lift heavy.
Now, you can make your abdominals larger and more defined, (they are muscles right?). However, you can’t pick and choose where you want to lose fat. You can choose where you build muscle, but you have zero control over where you burn fat. Doing crunches will not burn fat from your midsection any more than any other exercise. You will build muscle in the midsection but ultimately burn calories from the whole body.
Working the abs as part of a core strengthening program is important, but if you think ab training is the main ingredient for 6 pack soup, your meal is going to be undercooked and as bland as Arnold’s acting in Hercules in New York.
The worst part is that you may feel frustrated and never try to cook again. This is not an option. If your cooking sucks, try getting your recipes from outside of the grocery store.