4 not so Secret “Secrets” for Weight Loss

What’s so cool about secrets, anyways? We are immediately drawn to some piece of information that is “secret” because it is somehow “too effective” for the public to know about, as if civilization would crumble if this “fat loss secret” was exposed. You most likely are reading this because you didn’t want to miss out on some magic secret that will make the pounds fly faster than a methed-out cheetah.

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….Or because my adorable baby cheetah linkbait worked 😉

If it’s a secret it must work, right?

The information in this piece could very well be a fat loss game-changer, but my ideas aren’t secrets. Here’s the thing though: this stuff WORKS. If you are ready to start having success with your weight loss, read on.

You must actually do it!

This seems like a no-brainer, but this is where a lot of folks screw up. Pretending or attempting to follow your nutrition plan doesn’t count. Your body can’t tell the difference – it only knows what you consume and what you expend.

Aside: This is largely why I have beef with the term “cheat meal”. The term implies that you can get good grades without knowing the answers, by “cheating”. The teacher (your body) is more like Big Brother in that it WILL KNOW that what you are eating isn’t part of the plan. That means that the cheat meal still “counts”– it will have the same effect on your body as it would under any other circumstances.

Now, if your diet is too difficult to actually follow through with, it doesn’t matter how effective at “fat blasting” it is in theory. If a diet isn’t possible in practice, it is useless.

It takes Time and Effort

There are no shortcuts to Shredsville. There are many different paths, but they are all equally long. Though many will tell you to take some oddball, secret back road that is shorter and easier to get to, they are lying to you. These paths do not lead to Shredsville, but actually to Bummertown and IgainedmoreweightthanIlostdoingthiscrazyf$#^&$dietland.

Think of fad diet peddlers as Gollum in the Fellowship of the Ring. By following them without taking into account ulterior motives (they want your bling), you will inevitably walk into an enormous spider’s lair.

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The truth is that weight loss is a journey, and while you may be expecting me to make a joke about the band, I will do no such thing. Journeys are long and difficult. There is no way to get to your destination other than one step at a time.

No one has ever Lost Weight without a Caloric Deficit

That’s what the cumulative scientific literature says anyhow.  People who consume the same amount of calories, with similar levels of activity, lose/gain the same amount of weight regardless of the type of calories consumed. Unfortunately there aren’t any tricks to speed up fat loss. Gotta eat dem greens!

Dieting doesn’t have to Suck

I don’t know if it stems from some wonky aspect of our culture, but everyone seems to think that losing weight should be excruciating and miserable.

Client: “Can’t I just eat 800 calories a day and give up everything that makes life enjoyable?!”

Me: “No. You will hate life and rebound really hard, which will cause you to gain more weight than when you started. And more importantly, that is terribly unhealthy. Just try and incorporate veggies at every meal.”

Client: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEE?!”

You’d think I was telling them to do burpees, sheesh.
Am I crazy? Or does eating broccoli seem a lot less painful than starving yourself? I don’t quite get it – it’s like people WANT to be unhappy or something.

Anyway, losing weight doesn’t have to be shitty. In fact, you will be more successful if your diet doesn’t make you unhappy. Enjoying your diet/life will ensure that you stick with it and end the terrible cycle of yoyoing.

Conclusion

So there are my über confidential secrets I stole from the KGB during the Cold War. With these secrets in your arsenal, nothing will stop you… except maybe the allure of more marketable “secrets,” that is.

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