This Might Be The Silliest Thing I Have Ever Written

Half-assin it might be a quarter ass too much.

Us humans half-ass a lot of things. Frankly, I think we ought to full-ass things more often.

What if I told you that half-assing something might actually be full-assing in disguise? Or that half-assing could be a quarter-ass too much?

monty python general too silly

You following me so far? No? Good. If you were able to follow that I’d be concerned.

It does make sense, I assure you.

Ok, so just what the hell am I talking about?

Well, for starters I just wanted an excuse to say the phrase “full-assing”. “Half-assing” is in the common vernacular, but no one ever says “full-assing”. Why is this? It’s implied, no? If one can half ass something then surely one can full-ass something. Do we simply never have to glorious opportunity to say such a thing because half-assing is so rampant?

See I think we aren’t as lazy as we think we are.

I probably seemed pretty lazy as a youth. I never made my bed and pretty much did, what I felt, was the bare minimum in school. And I complained quite a bit about doing chores around the house. In comparison to the migrant workers working in the neighboring fields under the scorching Central Valley sun, I was quite the spoiled little shit. Then again most people are spoiled little shits compared to migrant workers. Truth is, I just didn’t connect mowing the lawn or making my bed with my values or identity.

I still don’t make my bed. But I’m also somewhat of a workaholic when it comes  to my job because I’m passionate about what I do.

My clients are all extremely dedicated, hard workers. I swear, getting them to take longer rest periods between sets is like pulling teeth, even on the days when they say they are feeling lazy. This is an example of the perception of half-assery when the reality is full assery, and maybe then some.

We may feel like we are half-assing our fitness efforts when we are, in fact, overly-assing it. Overly-assing it means we have taken on more ass than we can handle. If we can’t seem to make headway, we might be assin’ it too hard.

This is the paradox. Now, I’m of the mind that if we’re going to do something, we should full-ass it. However, that doesn’t mean we need to attempt to get everything perfect– far from it. What this means is that we should commit to things that we can easily full-ass, rather than commit to behaviors that are unrealistically difficult only to end up half-assing it.

This is really just a sillier way of saying that we ought to commit to small, reasonable habits that progress over time, setting ourselves up for wins. The alternative is setting ourselves up for failure by holding ourselves to impossible, impractical standards.

Diet rules are all entirely made up, by us. We make up these rules and then we follow them based on their intent, or we try to cheat the system we have created for ourselves, technically following the self imposed rules, but working around the reasons we made the rules in the first place. This gets us nowhere. Thus, we need to create rules that we don’t want to cheat. If we are making up the rules, we ought to set ourselves up for success, rather than failure by holding ourselves to unrealistic standards.

We ought to commit to behaviors that we are 100% certain we can full-ass. This will be a much quicker, easier route to success than setting the standards so high that we have no choice but to half-ass it.

That then allows us room to grow and expand on those habits, building on our successes, rather than retreating from what we perceive as failures. These aren’t failures, they are simply a mistake of committing to something that we could not ass to the fullest. Sometimes it feels like we aren’t doing enough, when in reality we are doing too much. It feels like we are half-assing our efforts we didn’t adhere 100% to our unrealistic plan. This leads us to think we are lazy, when in reality we let our ambition trump our patience.

Success begets success. If we have complete control over what we decide to commit to, let’s commit to something we can do right, rather than something we can’t. This doesn’t mean we are slacking off, it means we are working smarter, being in tune with our psychology.

When do this, we end up doing the same amount of work to greater success, but with less effort and stress. And of equal importance, we actually move forward, rather than stagnate. When we listen to where we are at, progress goes much smoother. The fastest way to climb a mountain is one step at a time.


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