How I Feel About White Chocolate

My relationship with white chocolate is similar to my relationship to my white skin: complicated and riddled with guilt.

Just kidding.

I don’t feel guilty when I eat white chocolate. I freaking love the stuff.

white chocolate

Now, you may say, “Jeff, white chocolate isn’t chocolate you simpleton.”

And these are the fucks I give.


You could call the stuff fermented echidna droppings and white chocolate would still taste the same.

It would still taste amazing.

I don’t care about formalities or technicalities when the purpose is still crystal clear. I eat white chocolate because I want to eat white chocolate, not because I want to pay homage to the gods of chocolate zealotry.

It’s important to be mindful of why we’re eating a food. The only “right” reason for eating something is the accurate one. This means if we’re going to eat a shit-ton of bacon, let’s not convince ourselves it’s healthy because it’s paleo. Or let’s not say chocolate is healthy because it has antioxidants.

It’s fucking candy. And it’s amazing.

There’s nothing morally wrong with eating candy. Yes, too much candy is detrimental to our health. That doesn’t mean candy is completely forbidden for those of us looking to feel more confident in a tank top.

Eat whatever you want. Just be honest about it. Stop rationalizing it. You don’t need to. You’re better than that. If you feel the need to justify your decision with phrases like :

“I earned this because I went to the gym”

“Or it’s not that bad because it has dark chocolate and almonds in it. It’s also non-GMO and made from the blood of adolescent centaurs. Organic, of course.”,

then I encourage you to take a minute to look inward. To figure out WHY you feel the need to justify a dietary decision.

The rationale for eating ice cream is that you’re human and ice cream is objectively delicious. That’s as good a reason as any. There aren’t acceptable and unacceptable reasons to eat junk food.

Just own up to whatever the actual reason is. Regardless of how we perceive a decision, the repercussions are the same. Again, there is nothing morally wrong with eating one way or another. This is simply a discussion of being honest with yourself.

White chocolate has the same nutritional value regardless of what you call it.


Did you like this post? Do you hate my guts and want to tell me personally? Get in touch at


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s