The title really says it all. Sometimes the best exercises are the least flattering ones.
Now considering that many gyms are probably the least emotionally comfortable place in the world save a locals-only biker bar in Stockton, CA, I understand that what I’m suggesting isn’t appealing.
That said, if you decide you give zero fucks about what anyone else in the gym thinks, these exercises can help you get a bigger booty, happier hips, eliminate back pain, and unleash your awesome.
I would add that the exercise of not giving a fuck is healthy.
You put a bar on your hips and hump the shit out of it.
No matter which way you spin it, that’s what this lift is. It’s also the most important exercise for bigger, stronger, nicer glutes.
Don’t chase big numbers on these. Keep the weight moderate and really try to feel your glutes working. At the top position of the lift, squeeze your butt cheeks together like your life depends on it.
Another humpy exercise. This one might be more awkward. I think a more apt name for this exercise would be, “What my friend’s dog does to his pillows”.
Band seated abduction
Here you’re basically getting strong at spreading your legs. Many find it unflattering, but it’s a great tool for building a balanced, round butt.
Do these after hip thrusts to get a crazy burn. Or do them before to help develop the mind-muscle connection. Make sure you’re focused on feeling your glutes contract HARD throughout the movement.
I call these hipster deadlifts because you’ve probably never heard of them.
This lift entails lifting a loaded barbell into your crotch. HAAWWWT.
The Jefferson Deadlift is one of my favorites. And not just because I get an odd satisfaction of people thinking I’m crazy.
While this lift looks bonkers, it’s one of the safer deadlift variations. The bar is centered directly under us which means we put less shear force on the low back. The asymmetrical nature of the lift also means we strengthen our weak links. Most exercises don’t have us moving in this rotational manner, so this lift can help prevent muscle and strength imbalances.
The best exercises usually aren’t the most sexy.
Sometimes they are, in fact, TOO sexy. This is one of those times.
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